


something like a love song

by lethargicProfessor



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 23:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9041846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lethargicProfessor/pseuds/lethargicProfessor
Summary: “We should get married.”She stiffened, propping herself up on her elbow to stare down at him. The dim light and the alcohol was doing nothing for his vision, but assumed she was scrunching her face up at him. “I’m really hoping I didn’t hear you right.”“Let’s get married,” he said again, a tired smile on his lips as Lenalee dropped back onto his chest. “It’s a great idea. For tax benefits. And financial aid reasons. And to not be poor. Kanda said.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kandayuu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kandayuu/gifts).



It felt like a cliché, ending an already horrible day with gray thunderclouds overhead.

Lavi frowned at the sky anyways, swollen clouds threatening to burst at any moment. The box in his arms was heavy, heavier than it should have been even with a stack of books and papers and knickknacks he had collected through his year in the office. He presumed the weight came more from the sense of failure at being let go from his work than from the actual contents of the box.

The girl at the reception counter smiled sympathetically when he turned away from the glass doors, eyes darting to the box before forcing herself away. “Do you want me to call you a cab, babe?”

Seeing as how he had two dollars in his wallet, that sounded like an awful idea. Shaking his head, Lavi mustered a weak smile, waving as best he could with the box in his way. “Nah, I’m fine. I don’t live far. Have a good one.”

“You too,” the girl called; he barely caught it over the threatening rumble of thunder above.

Bracing himself, Lavi stepped out into the busy streets, struggling to avoid people hurrying for safety before the storm broke.

He managed to get a block away from the bus stop before thunder rumbled again, loud enough to make him flinch. The rain came down all at once, driving the breath from his lungs as icy fingers slithered down his collar.

Drenched, cold, and very unhappy, Lavi was faced with a dilemma.

He could book it to the bus stop and wait in the rain until the bus arrived, or he could call for help. He could also just walk the thousand or so blocks to his apartment, but that would only be the last resort.

Hefting the soaked box in his arms, Lavi hurried to the bus stop. If he remembered the schedule, the bus would be arriving soon. Five minutes in the rain would be worth it if he could ride most of the way home, and he had just enough for the fare to make it.

It’d be fine. He’d be fine.

He stood in the rain for fifteen minutes before he gave up, slogging his way through the city. Even if the bus wasn’t late, he was already soaked. There was no point in waiting any longer.

“Because why would anything go _my_ way today, huh?” He asked no one in particular. A car drove past him, splashing him with muddy water.

He somehow managed to reach his apartment building without any further incidents, though the bottom of his box was starting to get a little too soggy for comfort.

The apartment building was sweltering compared to the chill outside, and he shuddered as his body adjusted. He considered leaving his mail for later, when he was dry and less miserable, but the thought of having to come back down to the lobby then up to his tiny 14th floor apartment was not appealing in the slightest.

He fumbled with his mailbox with chilled fingers, rain making it near impossible to maneuver the combination lock properly. A constant stream of swears filled the silence in the main floor lobby area, the rain dampened by the thick ugly carpet and blank walls.

It had been a pain in the ass, but apparently it was worth it as he scanned over the letters. Right on top sat a thick envelope, official looking from the university.

“Please be what I think it is,” he breathed, taking the stairs two at a time. His shoes squelched, and he grimaced as the rain cooled on his clothes. “Please, give me one good thing today…”

The flights of stairs shot past him in a blur, and he skid down the hall on his floor with his heart in his throat. His apartment was the furthest down the hall, looking almost like an afterthought next to the rows of doors next to it. He braced himself against the wall beside the stairwell, waiting to catch his breath. Even from down the hall, he could see something white against the ugly gray of his door, bright in the weak hall lights. Wary, he approached his door, keys heavy in his hand.

The eviction notice taped to his door was crooked, carelessly slapped on above the peephole. The sigh Lavi let out was deep, releasing every bit of air in his lungs, and maybe his soul along with it. Still, he felt a shred of satisfaction as he ripped the notice off his door, dropping it into his box on top of the mail.

His lock turned out to be just as challenging as the combination on his mailbox, and he dropped his keys more than once in his efforts. Once his door swung open with a creak, he stood at the threshold of his apartment for a moment, squinting into the darkness. “If anyone’s waiting in there to kill me, do it now, please.”

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed no one came out at him with a chainsaw. Satisfied that no one was going to put him out of his misery, he shuffled into the cool apartment, kicking his door shut.

Exhausted, Lavi dropped down on the floor, the tile cold through his damp jeans. He poked through the soggy box in his lap halfheartedly, too tired to care about its contents. The books and papers could be replaced, he hoped, and anything else would either dry off or meet an untimely end in his garbage bin.

He flipped through the mail next, leaving damp fingerprints on a stack of bills and junk mail. He skimmed over them once, too tired to focus on the next big thing, and flipped to the large envelope at the bottom.

He had applied to grad school after a two-year break, giving himself a chance to scrounge up enough money to get there. A few of his safety schools had come back already, admission letters still in their crumpled envelopes, but this. _This_ he had been waiting for the second he had submitted his application.

They didn’t call it a dream school for nothing.

It took a few seconds for his frozen fingers to pry open the thick cardstock envelope, and even longer for him to wiggle the letter out from it.

The acceptance letter was a brief little thing, a vague sort of congratulations along with some extra paperwork he would have to fill out and turn in before the semester. Financial aid and all that jazz. He let the letter slip past his slack fingers, laughing.

He had to tell someone.

Lavi dug through his soggy cardboard box, dropping books and soaked papers on the floor, fishing his phone out of the very bottom of the box. It was a little wet, but hopefully still worked. Drying it as best as he could on his damp jeans, he dialed the first number on his favorites list.

It took a second for Lenalee to pick up, the sounds too loud to place.

 _“Hello_?”

“Lena?” He cleared his throat, suddenly too aware of how cold he was. He probably should have changed out of his wet clothes first. “Sorry, are you busy?”

 _“Lavi_?” There was interference on her end, the sound of wind rushing past – she must have been in the subway. _“Sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you!”_

“I can call you back later,” he sighed, and something in his voice must have carried enough for her

 _“Wait, wait, hold on_.” The subway screamed past, drowning her out. “— _on hold on hold on!_ ”

Lavi laughed weakly, wiping at the rain dripping down his neck. “It’s okay, Lena, I can call you later.”

“ _I said hold on!_ ” The rain was barely audible through her end, and the general hubbub of the public filled the air. “ _Okay, I’m here! What’s up?_ ”

Lavi brushed the acceptance letter absently. “Um…it’s been kind of a long day…just wanted to let you know I got my acceptance letter.”

She gasped. “ _That’s great! Right? You got in, right?”_

“Yeah…” He flicked the letter away with a sigh. “Yeah, I did.”

 _“You don’t sound too happy about that_.”

“I also got fired today.” He laughed, and he hated to sound so defeated. “And I’m getting kicked out of my apartment, apparently.” He grabbed at the eviction notice, smoothing out the wrinkles in the paper against his knee. “Got thirty days to get my shit and leave.”

 _“Oh, Lavi…_ ” Traffic picked up suddenly; he guessed she must have gone outside. _“Give me a second.”_

“Sure.” He sighed heavily, nudging at the acceptance letter with the toe of his shoe. “But hey! I got into grad school. Gonna be homeless, and have no money to pay for it, but yay, right?”

She tutted softly in his ear. _“I’ll be there in twenty minutes._ ”

“Lena, you’re halfway across town,” he protested, sitting up straighter. “You can’t make it in—“

 _“Just watch me_ ,” her tone leaving no room for argument. _“Twenty minutes._ ”

“It’s raining,” he added, but he could already hear her huffing. “Lena, you’re gonna get sick.”

“ _I’ll be fine_.” The rain picked up, the distant sounds of an ambulance echoing in his ear. _“Did you walk home?”_

“No?” He didn’t sound too convincing.

 _“Go take a shower,_ ” she said, stern. It wasn’t like he had the energy in him to argue, but he did make a token sound of protest. _“I’ll be there soon, okay?_ ”

“Yeah, okay.”

 _“Okay. Good.”_ The rain got harder on her end, and he caught a soft curse. _“I’ll talk to you in a bit, okay? I love you.”_

“Me too.”

He sat on his floor in silence, staring at Lenalee’s face on his phone screen before it went black.

-

She showed up exactly twenty-eight minutes later, flustered and out of breath and hauling two plastic bags filled with food. Her coat was peppered with dark spots from the rain, but she seemed relatively dry stepping into his apartment.

Lavi didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so he settled on helping her in. “Twenty minutes, huh?”

“I took a detour,” she sniffed defensively, setting everything on the floor in a heap. “Come here.”

Her hug drove the air from his lungs, too tight and not tight enough all at once. Her arms wound around his ribcage, tucking her head under his chin to press closer. Lavi froze for a beat, feeling the tension drain from his shoulders when she began to rub soothing circles into his back. “You okay?”

“I could be better,” he managed, returning her hug slowly. She hummed in acknowledgement, swaying softly, still rubbing his back. He felt a lump in his throat form, and he cleared it roughly in an effort to make it go away.

Lenalee pulled away slowly, looking up at him, eyes sharp with worry. “Are you clean?”

That brought a faint smile to his face. “Yes ma’am.”

“Are you dry?” She continued, teasing despite her concern. “We don’t want you getting sick.”

“Damp,” he confirmed, tugging on a strand of hair hanging in front of his eyes. It bounced back into place, red locks still wavy from his quick shower.

“It’s a start.” Smiling in earnest, Lenalee turned away from him, reaching for the bags of food she had left haphazard on the floor. “Food next.”

Lavi tried to ignore the sudden cold, blaming it on the draft instead. He ran a hand through his hair, smoothing down errant spikes, watching Lenalee migrate to his coffee table. “You didn’t have to, Lena.”

“Yes, I did.” Dropping down on the floor with a soft grunt, Lenalee turned to him expectantly, tapping the coffee table. “We don’t have to talk about it. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m perfect,” he murmured, dragging himself to the table. “Seriously…”

She scrunched her nose at him, the way she did whenever she thought he was being unnecessarily stubborn, and began unpacking the bags of food. Methodical, stacking cheap Styrofoam containers to her left in a neat row, dumping out packets of soy sauce and duck sauce in front of her. “Sit and eat with me, at least? I’m starved.”

“Since you asked so nicely.” He sat with a sigh, digging through the pile of plastic wrapped utensils for some chopsticks. “I _guess_ I could help you eat the mountain of food you brought.”

That brought a smile to her face, cheeks still ruddy from the chill outside. “Thank you, Lavi, for being _so_ self-sacrificing.”

“That’s me. Self-sacrificing.” He made a face, grinning when she flicked her wrapper at him. “Seriously, though, thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything.” Lenalee slid a container of soup over. “Here.”

“Wontons?” Lavi pried the lid open slowly, poking a chopstick into the broth.

“Húndun,” she corrected, nudging a plastic spoon in his direction. He ignored it, drinking straight from the cup. He didn’t have to see it to know she was rolling her eyes. “It’ll warm you up.”

It did, as a matter of fact, a stray wonton bumping his nose as he slurped the broth. It steamed in his face, glasses fogged for a few seconds while they cleared. Lenalee laughed.

“Do you know what you’re going to do yet?” She prodded hesitantly after they settled to eat, shedding her coat.

“About what?” He asked, feigning indifference. He busied himself with poking a floating wonton with his chopstick, trying to spear it through.

Lenalee waited until he looked up, pinning him with a stare. “I was asking about the apartment, but in general works too.”

Lavi shrugged, taking another sip of the broth, grimacing at the way it went cold in his mouth. “I dunno.”

“You could move in with me, if you wanted.” She suggested, pinching the corner of a container with her chopsticks absently. “Emilia’s gone, so I could use some help with rent.”

“Emilia left?” He asked, sliding down against the couch. He tried to remember if anything had happened between Lenalee and the detective’s daughter, but nothing came to mind. “How come?

“She got married, silly,” Lenalee said, shaking her head fondly. “You went to her wedding. We danced? You danced with Allen? You got Kanda drunk?”

“Oh, yeah,” he laughed at the memory, however hazy it was. “I remember that part. I tried drinking Kanda under the table.”

“You _did_ drink him under the table.” Lenalee shifted, kicking his foot under the coffee table. “So, what do you say? Move in with me? I get a roommate and you get a place to stay.”

“I don’t have enough money up front.” Lavi knew Lena lived in the nicer part of town, the apartments big and warm and modern. They were also closer to the city, which meant the rent was astronomical. “I don’t even have a job, babe.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Thunder rumbled outside his window, a warning as the clouds continued to cover the city. Lavi sighed, forcing himself to meet Lenalee’s eyes. She frowned, concern creasing her forehead as she moved around the table to sit next to him. “I can handle the rent for a month or two, and I can ask Komui to pitch in too. I just don’t want you to be left out in the cold.”

Her fingers prodded his side when he didn’t respond, gentle but insistent. He closed his eyes, ignoring the pressure. Lenalee huffed, nudging his shoulder with her head when her fingers didn’t work. “Lavi, let me help you.”

Lavi made a sound at the back of his throat that wasn’t quite a groan, and took Lenalee’s hands as she readied for a second attack. She wiggled her fingers in his grip, but he refused to let go, turning to face her fully.

“I’ll be fine,” he whispered, a promise as he kissed the back of her hand. “I’ll figure something out, honest.”

Lenalee’s brow furrowed, cheeks puffed out in annoyance, but her grip on his hand tightened. “I’m trying to help you figure something out, you stubborn nerd. Just let me help.”

“I’ll think about it.” He said. She clearly didn’t like his answer, but decided to let it go for the time being.

“I guess.” Prying her fingers out of his grip, she settled against his side. “But actually think about it.”

“How’d your interview go, by the way?” He asked, forcibly changing the subject. “That was today, right?”

Lenalee flushed, shrugging. “It went okay,” she murmured, reaching across him for more rice. “We’re here to talk about you, though.”

“Maybe I’m sick of talking about myself.” He grinned, dropping his head on her shoulder heavily. “Maybe I wanna talk about you now. You’re a much more interesting topic anyways.”

“The interview was fine.” She waved her hand dismissively, tabbing the Styrofoam container in her lap slowly. “They said they’d call me back for hours and availability and stuff.”

“So you got it.”

Lenalee stuck her tongue out at him, nodding somewhat reluctantly. “Paid internship at the law firm, yeah. My professor helped a lot, but they said I’d be starting in a week.”

“That’s great!” He meant it, too. Lenalee had been busting her ass since starting law school, managing to balance school and extracurriculars with an ease Lavi envied. “So part time, I guess?”

“Work in the morning, classes at night.” Lenalee frowned, drawing her plate over to his side of the table. “It’s gonna be a packed schedule.”

“Is that bad?” Lavi slid a carrot around his container around, watching Lenalee out of the corner of his eye.

Lenalee hummed noncommittally. “It’s good. I’m excited, it’s a good opportunity and it’ll look great on my resume.” She said. It sounded rehearsed.

“But…?” Lavi prompted, dropping his hand on his leg, palm up. Lenalee hesitated before reaching for it, squeezing his hand for reassurance.

“Just worried about how the semester’s gonna go. Things are going to get harder, and I’m going to be working most of the day, too…” Her fingers twisted around his, a nervous habit he shared. He didn’t know if he got it from her, or if she got it from him, but he knew how she felt.

Lavi reached over with his free hand, covering her fingers with his palm until they stilled. “You’re going to be fine.” The certainty with which he said it made her smile, but the shadow of doubt lingered in her eyes.

“Do you wanna stay and watch a movie?” It was already dark outside, and the rain didn’t sound like it was going to let up. Lavi pinched the back of her hand lightly, grinning at the outraged sound she made at him. “You could wait the rain out here.”

“I’d love that, actually.” Her smile was blinding this time, brighter than the lightning flashing outside. “You pick?”

Lavi shook his head, waving at the bookcase against the wall regally. “Lady’s choice tonight.”

Lenalee snorted, giving him an exaggerated bow before heading to the shelf. He grinned, letting the tension seep from his shoulders for a moment. He could figure out the rest later. In his apartment, with the storm raging outside and Lenalee at his side, he could pretend everything was fine.

-

Lavi spent two days sulking in his apartment in his underwear before deciding he was sick of staring at his bedroom ceiling.

The first thing on his list, after telling the rest of his friends about the good news/bad news of the day, was to shower.

It was the little victories that counted sometimes, he told himself, picking through his apartment. There were too many things to pack up, and it was overwhelming trying to figure out where to start.

Allen, possibly prompted by Lenalee, stopped by to check on him on the third day with a cup of coffee and a box of donuts. Lavi was pleasantly surprised to find there were still donuts in the box, and made it a point to say so.

“You’re hilarious,” Allen drawled, shoving his way into Lavi’s apartment with a grin. “Also, I’ll be eating more of them because you’re a prick.”

“I’ll trade you donuts for actual breakfast.” Lavi waved at his counter, busy dumping things out of his bookcases. He had planned on eating first, but the motivation to actually get things done was strong for once, and he didn’t want to squander it.

“Done and done.” Allen slid the box of donuts on his coffee table, gathering Lavi’s breakfast in his arms to bring it to the couch. “So what are you going to do?” He asked, sitting on the coffee table.

“Uh…” Lavi kicked him off the table, dropping a stack of storage boxes on the floor. “Like, in terms of what? The next hour? Next week? In twenty years?”

Allen rolled his eyes, dragging his fingers down his face “You are the worst and I don’t know why we’re friends.”

“My charm and good looks, of course.” Lavi dropped to the floor, sliding a long piece of cardboard onto his lap to fold it into a box. “Right now I’m just worried about getting all my shit together and ready to move.”

“But move _where_?” Allen sat beside him, creasing the box’s lid slowly between bites of food. “You can’t go anywhere if you don’t know where you’re going.”

“Yeah, I know.” And he had been thinking about it. His grandfather’s place was his final option, and the one most easily ruled out. If he ended up going back to school, he wouldn’t be able to manage a four hour commute to and from school.

Lavi set a fully formed box aside, eyeing Allen’s attempts at lid-making. “I don’t suppose I could move in with you.”

“Not unless you want to live with me, my father, his arsehole of a brother, and the traveling circus he calls his family.” Allen deadpanned, giving up on the box’s lid. “D’you know that David and Dero brought home a chicken last week? Just waltzed in to dinner with a fucking chicken. Mana almost cried.”

Lavi paused, raising an eyebrow at Allen. “Like…a _live_ chicken?”

“Yes, a live chicken.” Exasperated, Allen continued eating, waving his fork in the air. “Rhode’s been making it hats, because why wouldn’t she?”

“How do you get a chicken in the city?” Lavi laughed at the thought, folding the lid for Allen.

Allen shrugged, picking a donut out of the box to accompany his breakfast. “Your guess is as good as mine. How about Kanda? They’ve got room, haven’t they?”

“I’d feel bad,” Lavi admitted, kicking his box to the nearest bookshelf. “Yuu and Alma just moved in together and they’re still kind of…settling?” He wiggled his fingers helplessly. “You know?”

“I don’t, and yet I do.” Allen set about attempting to build a second box, smacking himself in the face with a flap. “And why aren’t you taking Lenalee’s offer? If you don’t, I sure will.”

“I can’t afford a place that nice. Not if I want to still be able to pay tuition.” He hadn’t really done the math, but he figured it was going to be cutting it close with his savings as it was.

Allen sighed, shoving the cardboard boxes away from him with distaste. “I’m sorry to say it, then, but you’re screwed.”

Lavi threw a box at Allen’s head, and beamed when it landed. “I could couch surf.”

“You could.” Allen sounded unconvinced, knocking the box off his head. “How’s the job search going?”

“About as well as you’d expect with a liberal arts degree.” Lavi shoved a shelf full of books into the box with a swipe of his arm, sighing as they tumbled in haphazardly. “Lots of places I’m not qualified for, and lots of jobs I’m too qualified for.”

“Ah.” Allen nodded, crouching down to fix the books. “Of course. What are you interested in? Maybe Mana knows someone who can help.”

“Anywhere that’ll take me at this point.” The thought of going back to customer service was chilling, but Lavi was getting desperate very fast. “That’ll take me and offer enough money to live, I guess.”

“That there is the dream, my friend,” Allen grinned, moving the full box out of the way. “Maybe you could work with Sheryl? I could ask.”

“I would die.” Lavi squinted suspiciously at Allen’s laughter. “I would literally be dead and in the ground if your creepy uncle-cousin got his hands on me. Are you kidding me? Why do you want me dead, Allen?”

Allen helped him pack up more boxes, still laughing, but did not deny that he wanted Lavi dead. He would remember that for a later date.

The day went by faster with Allen’s help, and they managed to pack up a sizable amount of stuff before Allen had to go home.

Lavi’s apartment felt lonelier than it had before once he left.

The rest of the evening dragged; dinner didn’t taste much like anything, and nothing on TV caught his attention long enough to distract him from the inevitability of the future.

He went to bed with his phone in his hands, waiting for a sign.

What he really wanted to do was talk things over with someone – his gramps would probably already be in bed, and while Alma was a possibility, he knew they were still at work. He wondered if Kanda would be in a good enough mood to talk, but decided against it.

(A very small part of him could admit he was scared to talk about it, because somehow it would make it more _real_ , accepting that things were not fine. But he had promised Lenalee that he would be okay, and he planned to keep that promise. Somehow.)

He fell into a light doze, tossing and turning with dreams saturated with uncertainty. They weren’t nightmares, but they were unsettling enough to force him awake, tossing what ifs back and forth until his head spun. It was hours before he reached for his phone, anxiety making his heart thump against his ribs. He didn’t have much of a choice.

Lavi stared at his phone in the darkness, thumb hovering over Lenalee’s name. Before he lost his nerve, he swiped her name, waiting for the call to connect.

She picked up on the third ring, yawning straight into his ear. “Lavi…? Wha’s up…?”

“Is your offer still open?” He asked, bracing himself for the worst. Lenalee was silent, and Lavi swallowed thickly. “If it’s not I totally get it, I was a dick for not taking advantage when I did—“

“You can move in with me whenever you want,” she interrupted, biting off another yawn. “You don’t have to worry about anything.”

“Are you sure?” His voice cracked, and he felt himself flush in the darkness. “Sure sure?”

“Positive.” She fell silent, and he worried for a second she had hung up.

“I’ll do chores if that’ll help you out,” Lavi added, tracing shapes into his comforter nervously. “I know you have a packed schedule and all.”

“That sounds great, Lavi,” Lenalee whispered, making his heart backflip. He thumped his chest. “I’ll help you get all that stuff done tomorrow okay?”

“Y-yeah, yeah of course!” He turned to stare at the clock on his bedside, wincing at the time. “I didn’t mean to wake you up, babe, I’m sorry.”

“’s okay.” She laughed softly, voice suddenly muffled. “I’m glad you said yes…we’ll be okay, okay?”

“Yeah…” Lavi closed his eyes slowly, tears stinging behind his eyelids. “Honestly, Lena, I can’t thank you enough.”

“You don’t have to thank me at all. That’s what friends are for.” She trailed off with a soft groan, the phone rustling as she shifted again. “And you’re my friend.”

He laughed, drained as the weight lifted from his chest. “I know. I know. You’re an angel.”

“I know.” She would have sounded more smug if she hadn’t yawned again, a long, drawn out thing that almost set Lavi off too.

“Go back to sleep, princess,” he murmured, rolling over, the angry knot in his stomach settling into something more manageable. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“It is tomorrow,” she teased, sniffling faintly. “Good night, Lavi. I love you.”

“Yeah, me too,” he said, ending the call with a groan.

That was one problem down. Job hunting would take time, but at least he had a place to stay. It was a start.

Sleep came more easily this time around, solid and dreamless.

-

“Thanks for this,” Lavi sighed, shoving the last of his boxes into a corner. Emilia’s old room was big enough to hold the most important things, but he still wanted to take up the least amount of space as possible.

Lenalee beamed, wiping the sweat from her brow. “You’re welcome, silly. That’s what friends are for.”

He stuck his tongue out at her, laughing when she threw his pillows in his face. Moving in had taken most of the day, and unpacking was going to be hell and a half, but it had been worth it.

They settled into an easy routine, helped entirely by the fact that Lenalee was never home, and Lavi always was.

His days involved waking up late, somehow sleeping through Lenalee’s three alarms, and shuffling around the apartment mindlessly until he woke up enough to actually get in gear. Around noon, he would settle down to apply to every job he could find, sidetracked occasionally by his social media feeds, before picking up again later in the afternoon.

He had told Lenalee he would get some chores done while she was out, and he did his best to do so, but there wasn’t much _to_ do besides clean up after himself. He washed his dishes and made his bed and picked up his crap from the living room, but in such a large apartment he felt like his activities didn’t leave much of a mess in the first place.

Lenalee would scramble home at five, a flurry of motion as she shot to her room, shedding clothes as she went. Within minutes she would rush back towards the door, books in hand with a quick farewell thrown behind her.

(Most times Lavi didn’t even notice she had arrived before she was already leaving.)

After class came hours of studying – it wasn’t surprising to find her still studying in the kitchen or the living room at two or three in the morning, hunched over deadly-looking textbooks and case files. She always managed a smile though, however tired it might seem, and a soft good night whenever Lavi left her for the night.

On weekends, she slept in, and they managed to have some time to relax together, but living with Lenalee truly showed Lavi how thinly she was spread out. He almost felt guilty moving in with her, or taking time away from her to hang out, but Lenalee insisted on going out to unwind.

“It’s the weekend,” she stated matter-of-factly every time, physically pulling him out the door. “I want to go out.”

“You could be sleeping,” he protested, letting her drag him down the hall to the stairwell. “You _should_ be sleeping.”

“I can sleep when I graduate.” She said airily, tucking his scarf around her neck, one hand still wrapped securely around his arm.

 _Or when you pass out from exhaustion_ , Lavi wanted to say, but he bit his tongue, letting her lead him out into the busy streets.

(It was fun. He had fun, and it was nice to have a break from the frustration of not having a job or having anything to look forward to. It eased his anxiety, but he couldn’t forget the absolute look of exhaustion on her face when she thought he wasn’t looking.)

Lavi lasted a month before he sat Lenalee down for an intervention. “How do you live like this?”

Lenalee frowned at her textbook, the bags under her eyes dark enough to look like bruises. “It’s not that bad, Lavi.”

“When’s the last time you got more than three hours of sleep?” He asked, as if he didn’t already know the answer. Lenalee shrugged, staring at her book as if he would go away if she just ignored him.

“You need to take better care of yourself,” Lavi said, crossing his arms. Her eyebrows shot up to her bangs at the action, and he wondered if he was crossing a line. He was worried, though, and he had known Lenalee long enough to know how stubborn she was. “Were you like this with Emilia too?”

“No,” she muttered, running a hand through her hair, wisps falling out of her bun with the action. “I didn’t have the internship before either.”

“Lena…” The words caught in his throat, and he sat across from her with a sigh. He waited until she met his gaze, an unhappy twist to her mouth. “Lena, please. Either drop a class or drop the internship, but you can’t be doing this to yourself.”

“I can handle it. I’m fine.” She said, already moving back to her textbook. “Don’t worry, Lavi.”

“At least let me help you.” Lavi sat up, tapping the textbook between them. “What can I do to help?”

“You’re fine, Lavi. You don’t have to do anything.” She insisted, waving his hands away from her book. “I just need to get used to the schedule, that’s all.”

“You haven’t been eating well.” He was sounding like his grandfather, and by the look on Lenalee’s face it wasn’t a good thing. Still, he pressed on. “Or sleeping.”

“I have been eating…” She flipped to the next page in her textbook, hunched over to a painful degree.

“Eating instant oatmeal and ramen in between classes isn’t eating _well_.” Lavi leaned in, trying to get her to at least look at him. “Lenalee, c’mon.”

Lenalee sighed heavily, shutting the book in front of her. “I’m doing my best, Lavi. It’s not going great but the semester just started and I can’t just quit.”

Her tone was sharp, and Lavi winced. Maybe it was because he wasn’t doing anything yet, but he also felt a little defensive. He tamped that down, though. He nagged because he was worried, and he had a right to be worried about his friend.

“I know,” he said, subdued. “I know you can’t, and I know you won’t because you’re stubborn. But you gotta let me help you. You helped me out of a tough spot, so…let me do the same for you.”

Lenalee huffed a strand of hair from her mouth, staring at him unhappily. “What do you suggest then?”

“Food, for starters.” Lavi wasn’t a five-star chef, but his food was edible. “I’ll make you dinner. And lunch too. And I’ll help you study so you don’t fall behind.”

She nodded slowly, tapping at the cover of her book. “That’d be nice…I could probably eat during some lectures. Doubt the professors would notice.”

“Yeah, okay.” Lavi moved closer, the table digging into his chest. “You gotta start sleeping more too. And you gotta stop trying to do so much at once. You’ll burn out if you keep this up.”

“I know.” Grudgingly, she opened her book again. “I know. I just…”

“I know.” Lavi echoed, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. “I know you, Lenalee. You just gotta let me in, okay? I’ll do what I can to make things easier on you.”

“Thank you.” She still looked exhausted, sickly pale, but her smile was genuine. “Thank you for caring, Lavi…”

“You’re my friend.” He winked, kissing her hand loudly. “And a friend once told me that that’s what friends do.”

Lenalee laughed, squeezing his fingers, and returned to her book. “You have a smart friend, then.”

“She’s amazing, yeah.” Lavi slipped his hand from her grasp, hoping she didn’t catch the flush on his cheeks. “Have you eaten yet?”

“Yes,” she murmured automatically, eyes roving the page of her book.

Lavi rolled his eyes, slipping the book from under her hands. “Food first. We made a deal.”

“You didn’t get it in writing,” Lenalee complained, letting her head drop on the table heavily. “First rule is to get it in writing.”

“I’ll keep that in mind next time.” Lavi tucked the book under his arm and marched to the kitchen. “Take a break!”

He didn’t catch what she said, but the groan was enough.

-

Lavi’s new routine was surprisingly similar to the previous one, if he ignored the fact he actually had to wake up before noon daily. The first few days were rough, but it probably wasn’t in his best interest to continue that habit anyways.

Lenalee’s alarm would force him awake, the blaring sound echoing down the hall to his room. While the shower ran, he dragged himself out of bed and towards the kitchen. If he timed it right, Lenalee would be rushing out of the shower just as he finished making coffee.

The rest of the time went by in a bleary half-daze; he’d make breakfast while Lenalee’s music drifted to the kitchen, occasionally accompanied by soft swearing. Between the shower and the door, he had twenty minutes to have something ready to go.

Breakfast wasn’t fancy, and very rarely looked appetizing, but she smiled brightly at him anyways, standing on her tiptoes to slap a kiss on his cheek before rushing out the door with a travel mug and breakfast in hand.

After a brief clean up, Lavi would shamble back to bed and sleep for a few more hours, waking up in time to start lunch. Lunch itself was easier than breakfast, and if Lenalee hurried back in time they could chat about their days before she had to leave again.

In between, Lavi continued searching for jobs, tossing every ‘thank you but no thanks’ email into a special folder labeled ‘FAILURE’. Allen thought it was horrendous every time he mentioned it; Lavi thought it was funny.

With spring semester in full swing, Lavi didn’t have to worry about school much, yet, and took advantage of the fact to tuck that can of worms out of sight. He _wanted_ to go back to school, but worried about what it would do for his stress levels. Undergrad had been difficult, and he learned a lot about himself in the process, but being out of school for such a long time left him with a doubt he couldn’t shake away.

So, like any well-adjusted twenty-something, he ignored the issue and focused on Lenalee instead.

-

“I feel like this might be illegal,” Lavi said as they approached the Order – a small patch of grass the neighborhood generously called a park – with a case of beer in hand. “Pretty sure this is illegal.”

“Out of everything we’ve ever done, this is probably not high on the illegal list.” Kanda said, dropping down to sit on the curb.

Allen followed suit, grinning up at Lavi. “At least, not _very_ high on the illegal list. You gonna join us or not?” The drinking trip had been unplanned, orchestrated by Allen in an effort to get Lavi away from his computer. “If I have to hear about that ‘failure’ folder one more time I will hurt you.”

“It’ll stop when I get a job,” Lavi sighed, taking a bottle of lukewarm beer from the case. “I’m very tempted to ask if your creeper cousin-uncle has anything available.”

“Don’t.” Kanda reached for a bottle, moving the case closer to himself. “That fucker will sell your organs if you give him the chance.”

“I’d let him at this point,” Lavi said over the distressed sound Allen made. “Death would be nice,” Lavi continued, pushing Allen’s head down lightly. “You don’t pay taxes when you’re dead.”

Kanda shot him an unimpressed look, finishing his first beer with a burp. “That’s how tonight’s gonna go, huh?”

“How much does plasma go for?” Lavi asked, squinting at the back of his beer bottle like the answer would be written under the maker’s label, pointedly ignoring Kanda’s comment.

Kanda hummed thoughtfully. “Legally? Or…?”

“I’m not picky at this point, buddy.”

Allen rolled his eyes, peeling the label off his bottle. “Where’s Lenalee? She’s the only one that can control you when you’re like this.”

“Drunk?” Kanda asked into his beer.

Allen shook his head. “ _Sad_.”

“She had study group.” Lavi finished his beer, the bitter taste coating his tongue. He wasn’t very fond of beer, but still automatically reached for a fresh bottle. “Then she said she was going to finish a report after.”

“Is she planning on eating or sleeping at any point in time this semester?” Allen clinked his bottle against Lavi’s new one, taking a small sip.

Lavi shook his head, scoffing. “No. Trust me, we already had a talk about it. She’s pushing herself like crazy, and I’m pretty sure it’s mostly my fault.”

“Everything’s always your fault.” Kanda said.

Allen nodded, shooting Lavi a wink. “But we love you anyways.”

They sat on the curb quietly, steadily making their way through the case of beers with talk of the future. When they were younger, they used to chase wine coolers with grandiose dreams of _what-ifs_. What if I win the lottery, what if I meet The One, what if I make something of myself.

It was only mildly disappointing to Lavi to see their talks turn into bland discourse over how much one had saved at the grocery store. “When did we get so boring?”

Kanda, who was midway through his fascinating retail story, only looked mildly affronted. “We saved a ton of money, asshole.”

“It’s actually very impressive,” Allen seconded, nudging Lavi with his shoulder. “Are you having an existential crisis, love?”

“I think so, kind of.” Lavi dropped his third – or was it fourth? – empty bottle back in the case, feeling the pressure build behind his eyes. He felt too warm and too cold all at once, and flapped at the collar of his shirt to ease the feeling. “I just need some money so I can help Lenalee so that she can stop hating me.”

“She doesn’t hate you.” Allen muttered around the lip of his bottle.

“You’re her favorite,” Kanda drawled, dropping back on his elbows. “Which is bullshit since I’ve known her longer.”

Lavi groaned, letting himself fall back against the cool sidewalk. Small pebbles dug into his back, and he wondered about the sanitary conditions of laying on a random sidewalk, but let the pressure push those thoughts away. “I hate being an adult.”

“Me and Alma have to file for health insurance soon,” Kanda said, sounding disappointed. “The hospital has a good plan but we have to go together to fill all that shit out.”

“Ah, the perils of civil unions.” Allen dropped down beside Lavi, setting his head on Lavi’s shoulder. “It’s not all sugar and spice, is it?”

“That’s not how the saying goes,” Lavi said, and was promptly ignored.

“At least I’m not living with my dad in his attic,” Kanda snapped back with very little bite in his tone. “And we get tax breaks.”

Allen groaned, head-butting Lavi’s shoulder. “I didn’t come out with you lot to talk about taxes. Also, leave my father out of it?”

They bickered over Lavi’s head for ages, the words swirling in the haze of cheap beer, until something managed to stick. He hauled himself upright, groaning as the world swam. “Wait, tax breaks?”

Allen sputtered softly, sitting up with a mild swear. “Fucking taxes.”

“We don’t pay as much in taxes ever since we started filing together,” Kanda said, shrugging. “And I can be under Alma’s health benefits.”

Lavi’s head spun as he turned to Allen, overbalancing and nearly dropping onto the younger man. “Allen!”

“What?” Allen squawked, spilling half his beer down his front in surprise. “What the _fuck_? I was drinking that!”

“Marry me.” Lavi, to his credit, did not fall over in his bid to face Allen properly, though he did wobble uncertainly. “Marry me so that I can stop not having money.”

Allen frowned, flicking beer off his fingers and into Lavi’s face. “Oh, dearest, absolutely _not_.”

“You couldn’t afford him anyways,” Kanda said, choking on his drink when Lavi jostled him. “You don’t have to money to pay for all the food he eats.”

Allen looked ready to argue, but shut his mouth after thinking it through. “No, no, you’re right.”

“It’s just the money thing.” Lavi tapped the bottom of his bottle anxiously, drinking more for wont of something to do. “Once we figure that out it’ll be fine…”

“You could always strip.” Allen wiggled his eyebrows, taking an exaggerated pull from his half-empty drink. “Stripping’s good money.”

Kanda snorted, and Lavi had to agree. “I’m not exactly built for stripping, Al.”

“If you have a body, you are built for stripping,” Allen philosophized, walking his fingers up Lavi’s arm to stab him none to gently in the chest. “I assure you, there is someone out there in this tiny blue marble that will absolutely buy what you’re selling.”

“’Cause you’re the expert, right?” Kanda smirked, setting his can down with a yawn.

Before Allen could retort, Lavi nudged Kanda’s leg. “How’re things working out for you and Alma?”

“Good.” Kanda nodded slowly, lips pursed like he was trying to figure out what to say. “It’s…we’re good.”

“Out of all of us, I did not think Yuu would be the first to get hitched,” Allen mused, knocking away the fist aimed at his head. “It’s the truth, you turnip! You lost me fifty dollars.”

Lavi laughed, wincing at the sharp look Kanda aimed their way. “Not that we would ever bet against you, Yuu.”

They both ignored Allen’s scoff, the soft ‘I would’ drowned out by the sound of a car rattling down the way. The car took with it whatever conversation they had left, and they sat in silence watching the lights.

“I am delightfully buzzed,” Allen murmured, setting his bottle down lightly with a sigh. “And I will absolutely regret this in the morning. It was a pleasure, lads.”

“I should get going too.” Kanda stood, stretching his arms over his head. “Alma had a late shift so they should be home by now…”

Lavi sighed, finishing the rest of his beer. “I guess I’ll head home too…”

The walk home helped sober him up a bit, and he only stumbled a few times up the stairs to the apartment. He even managed to get the keys into the keyhole in one try, and sagged as he walked inside. “Lena, I’m home…”

The lights in the living room were still on when Lavi walked into the apartment, Lenalee’s books strewn across the floor. A peek into the kitchen showed traces of human habitation, a handful of dirty plates left on the counter, but no Lenalee.

Curious and a tad concerned, Lavi made his way down the hall, clearing his throat. “Lena…?” The door to her dark bedroom was cracked open, and he nudged it further with the toe of his boot. “You in here?”

He waited for his eyes to adjust, noting in the darkness a large pile of blankets in the middle of the room, a suspicious-looking lump in its midst.

“What are you doing, babe?” He asked, leaning heavily on her door. The mass of blankets shifted, and in the gloom he vaguely made out her head poking out.

“Contemplating the universe,” she muttered, muffled as she pulled a blanket over her head.

Lavi scratched at the back of his neck absently, fighting to keep a grin off his face and out of his tone. “Yeah? How’s that working for ya?”

“Lots of contemplation going on.” Lenalee rolled around the heap of blankets, tangling herself into a burrito. “I definitely wasn’t napping between studying.”

“I believe you.” Lavi yawned, the warmth from the earlier drinks starting to crawl up the back of his neck. “Do you want me to go so you can keep fixing the universe?”

Lenalee lifted her head, dropping her head to the side. “You know, fixing the universe is actually a two-person job.”

He laughed through the yawn bubbling up his throat, nodding. “You’re absolutely right, princess. Just let me get into something more comfortable.”

With Lena’s suggestive whistle following him down the hall, Lavi forced his sluggish brain to cooperate long enough to get him out of his coat and jeans and into a worn t-shirt and shorts he had lying around. As an afterthought, he collected a pillow and yanked the comforter off his bed, shuffling back into Lenalee’s room.

“I thought you’d fallen asleep,” Lenalee teased, still wrapped up in her blankets. “I was about to send a search party for you.”

“It was a close one, that’s for sure,” Lavi drawled, making it a point to drop his pillow on her face. “But I made it, and I am absolutely ready to solve every problem in the world.”

“The universe,” she corrected with a laugh, setting his pillow beside her. “Go big or go home.”

“I am home.” Grunting, he dropped down to the floor, head swimming at the sudden change in altitude. “Thankfully.”

Lenalee hummed, rolling closer to his side. “Did you have fun?”

“We did, sort of.” Lavi mused, groaning around a hiccup. “We missed you, by the way. The boys send their love.”

“Of course.” Lenalee moved down, settling into the crook of his arm, and he felt her glance up. “You’re not gonna throw up on me, are you?”

“I’m not Kanda,” he said, wrapping an arm loosely around her shoulders. “I can hold my liquor.”

“You say that, but that’s not what happened at Emilia’s wedding.” He felt her scrunch up against him, the bulk of her blankets bunched around her legs, and he relaxed at the familiar warmth. She fit against him easily, tucking her shoulder under his arm as she got comfortable.

Lavi would have fallen asleep right there, body warm and loose with the combination of Lenalee and alcohol, but something in the air lingered, like there was something he had to breach and couldn’t quite figure out. He brushed his fingers across Lenalee’s shoulder, fighting the heaviness in his eyelids. “You okay?”

“Just worried.” Lenalee replied, drawing her knees up against him. “Thinking about school and…other stuff…you know…”

“Yeah…” The conversation he had with Kanda and Allen rattled in his head, and he scoffed a laugh at the reminder. “Allen told me I should strip for cash.”

“He would say that,” Lenalee said dryly, laughing into his chest, warm breath puffing against his skin. “Are you going to?”

“Probably not. Not yet, anyways.” He yawned, and settled into a comfortable silence, running his thumb along her shoulder absently. Lenalee threw an arm across his waist, drawing her blankets across his legs as best as she could.

The last dregs of the evening tickled Lavi’s mind, and he tapped Lenalee’s shoulder before he forgot. “We should get married.”

She stiffened, propping herself up on her elbow to stare down at him. The dim light and the alcohol was doing nothing for his vision, but assumed she was scrunching her face up at him. “I’m really hoping I didn’t hear you right.”

“Let’s get married,” he said again, a tired smile on his lips as Lenalee dropped back onto his chest. “It’s a great idea. For tax benefits. And financial aid reasons. And to not be poor. Kanda said.”

“You’re so drunk,” she sighed, drawing her arm across his waist again. “Go to sleep and don’t throw up in my hair.”

“I’m only a little buzzed,” he yawned, losing the battle with his eyelids. “But it’d help…and if I had to marry someone, I’d be okay if it was you.”

“You’re such a romantic,” Lenalee snorted, shaking her head. “Go to sleep. I love you, you nerd.”

“Me too,” he breathed, drifting off into a dead sleep.

-

Lavi woke up the sunlight in his face, back stiff from sleeping on the floor. Lenalee was gone, her blankets tossed in a heap on her bed. His head was pounding, and he only mildly regretted drinking as much as he had the night before.

The taste of alcohol lingered on his tongue, and he squinted against the light as he gathered his bearings. He couldn’t hear the shower running, and assumed by the light blasting his face that it was late in the day.

Groaning under his breath, Lavi dragged himself to his room, pillow and blanket left behind. Priorities, he reminded himself. Shower first, and then everything else.

The shower helped, if only to clear the last of his hangover, though it did nothing to ease the stiffness in his back. He was tempted to go back to bed, and was about to when his stomach interrupted. Sighing, he made his way out in search for food.

He found Lenalee in the kitchen, notebook propped up against a box of cereal, looking far more awake and refreshed than he had seen her in a while.

“G’mornin’,” he muttered, poking into the fridge. Nothing caught his eye, and he wondered what he could get away with with the least amount of effort.

“Good morning,” Lenalee responded, too chipper for the time of day. “I made you coffee.”

He grunted a thanks, leaving the fridge and reaching for the chipped mug resting on the counter beside the coffee machine. The first sip was scalding, but he braved another, leaning back against the counter with a yawn. Lenalee turned in her seat to face him.

“So, about your proposal.” She smiled sweetly, eyes twinkling as she peered at him over the edge of her mug. “I accept.”

Lavi choked on his coffee, feeling it burn down his throat. “What?”

“I accept,” she repeated, reaching back to her plate for a slice of toast. She licked her thumb, laughing. “Or should I say, I do?”

Bits and pieces of the conversation from the night before floated by, and Lavi struggled to make sense of it all. “Wait, what? What?”

“I thought about it,” Lenalee kicked her feet lightly, smile teasing as she watched him sputter. “And you’re right. It _is_ a great idea. Tax benefits aside, it would help your financial aid going in, and help mine for the new semester.”

“Seriously?” Lavi wheezed, setting his mug down before he dropped it down his front. “A-are you kidding?”

“Nope.” She spun in her seat, pulling the notebook off her makeshift stand. “I even did the math. Insurance goes down, health benefits go up? I don’t have a lot at work, of course, but yours and mine combined could really make a difference. And once you start working it’ll be even better.”

Intrigued despite the hammering in his chest, Lavi walked over, taking the notebook from her hands. The math was all there, equations scrawled around the notes she had taken previously. “Holy shit.”

“It’s a good idea,” Lenalee repeated, dropping her head on his shoulder to peek at the notes. “And we’re already living together, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”

“Do you…” His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, and he floundered for a moment, hyper-aware of her cheek resting against his arm. “Do you really want to do this?”

“I could think of worse people to get married to,” she laughed, nudging his arm with her forehead. “But…only if you’d want to, of course.”

“I could think of worse people,” he joked, hoping he didn’t sound as breathless as he felt.

Lenalee grinned, taking the notebook from his lax grip. “We could do the common-law route, and not have to register with the city, but civil union would mean more benefits.”

“Shit.” Lavi ran a hand through his hair, huffing a breathless laugh. “Let’s get married, then.”

-

 “I think I fucked up,” Lavi said, phone propped against his shoulder while he stirred a pot of pasta.

Allen laughed, the sound muffled by the squawk of a chicken. _“Nothing you could have done could possibly be worse than death by chicken._ ”

“I asked Lenalee to marry me.” The chicken on the other end let out a startled screech, and Lavi winced as the phone slipped from his ear. “Fuck!”

 _“I’m sorry, you did what now?_ ”

Sighing, Lavi set his phone on the counter. “You’re on speaker, Al.”

 _“I can’t tell if you’re serious or not, and that’s what worries me_ ,” Allen said, his voice tinny. _“Did you really?_ ”

“Yep.” Lavi frowned into the pot, willing the noodles to cook faster. “Yes I did. When I was drunk.”

 _“And?”_ Allen pressed. _“What did she say?”_

“She said yes?” The line went dead, and Lavi had to stop and check if his call had dropped somehow. “You there, bud?”

 _“I am_ ,” Allen said slowly, the sounds of a chicken barely audible in the distance. _“I am stunned, but still here. Are you really going to?”_

“I guess?” Lavi swallowed the laugh bubbling in his throat, checking on the pot nervously. “I mean, it sounds like we are.”

 _“I don’t know what to say._ ” Allen shifted, the phone rustling against his shirt. _“Congratulations, I suppose?_ ”

Lavi groaned, turning to lean back against the counter. “That’s where I fucked up, Allen. I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

 _“Why not? Lenalee is great. Besides, isn’t it just a marriage of convenience? You could do this for the time being, and divorce afterwards.”_ Allen said blandly; Lavi could almost picture him waving the problem away.

“Yes…That is an option.” Lavi waited for Allen to say something, shutting his eyes as the lightbulb went off in the other’s head.

 _“Oh, you poor bastard, you actually like her, don’t you?_ ” Allen accused.

The alarm on his phone went off, and Lavi had never been more thankful for an excuse to hang up. “Sorry, babe, I gotta run, I’ll talk to you later!”

He didn’t even wait for Allen to respond, hanging up and tossing his phone on the counter with a sigh. The pasta burbled along happily, filling the silence in the kitchen.

“Ah, fuck.” Lavi scrubbed his face with his palms, making a distressed noise deep in his throat. It wasn’t that he was worried about Lenalee, exactly, because he trusted her and knew that if he was going to get into some shit, he would rather it be with her.

He had just never been a big fan of commitment before. Marriage was a big commitment, if not one of the biggest, and though he had no prospects in regards to relationships, he just didn’t want to back himself into a corner.

(He wasn’t afraid of commitment, despite what his grandfather used to say. He just wanted to keep his options open.)

(And whatever feelings he had for one of his best friends, regardless of what they were, had to be quickly and quietly tucked away.)

-

Lenalee knocked on his door around midnight, shooting him a sleepy smile. “Got a minute?”

“For you, always.” Lavi sat up with a yawn, eyes burning from staring at his computer screen. “What’s up?”

Lenalee shuffled in, wearing one of his t-shirts, pilfered from the load of laundry he had set out a few days ago. “Kanda told me you’re having second thoughts.” She said, climbing up on his bed and under his blankets.

“I didn’t tell Kanda anything.” Lavi moved his laptop out of the way, letting her curl up under his comforter. “What the fuck?”

“Allen, Alma, Kanda.” Lenalee explained, wrapping the blanket around her head so that only her eyes peeked out. “You know we don’t have to do this, right?”

“I know.” Lavi tapped Lenalee’s forehead lightly, pulling his pillow out from under her. “Of course I know. I just…thought it would help us both.”

“But?”

Seeing as how Lenalee had already settled in for a long conversation, Lavi sighed. “Hold on…” He slid off the bed and crossed the room to turn off the lights, shutting the laptop carefully before depositing it on his desk. He moved a few more books off the bed, pens and papers buried under the pillow and probably leaving ink stains in their wake.

Lenalee shifted on his bed, blanket drawn up to her shoulders. “You’re stalling.”

“I know.” He laughed, soft and mirthless, and slowly climbed back onto the bed. Lenalee considered him for a moment, and settled herself against his wall, shoulder to shoulder. Lavi let himself slump against her, legs crossed. “You do all your homework already?” He asked lamely.

“Yes, sir.” Lenalee reached over, taking his right hand in hers, squeezing his fingers. “Talk to me, Lavi.”

He groaned softly, letting her play with his hand. “I hate talking about me.”

“That’s why you have to do it more often,” Lenalee said, pinching the inside of his wrist lightly. “I can’t read minds. I don’t know how to help you if you don’t tell me.”

“You don’t have to help me,” he muttered, laying his hand flat, palm up on his knee. She traced circles on his palm delicately, the sensation sending shivers up his spine. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be helping you. You already helped me.”

Lenalee scoffed, letting the blankets slide down her shoulders. “It’s not a competition,” she said sternly, mouth drawn into a thin line. “If you need help, you need help. And if I can _help_ you then I will. What’s the issue?”

“I just feel like I haven’t done much for you,” Lavi admitted grudgingly, feeling her hands still on his. “I still don’t have a job, I don’t do much here….fuck knows it’s gonna get worse once school starts, if I can even manage to pay…”

“You’ve helped a lot,” Lenalee whispered, squeezing his hand tight enough to sting. “You honestly have. I…” She sighed, pulling his arm around her shoulders to press against his side. “I don’t think I’d be where am I right now if you weren’t here, Lavi.”

“Of course you would have. You’re amazing.” He ran his thumb across her shoulder, dropping his cheek on her head. “You made it here all on your own. I didn’t have anything to do with it.”

She made an irritable noise beside him, the sound vibrating through his jaw. “That’s not what I mean, Lavi. You being here reminds me that I’m actually a human being.” She shifted, reaching for his hand again. “That I’m not just expendable…replaceable. That I matter to someone.”

Lavi ignored the way her voice caught at the end, turning to drop a kiss on her head. “You matter a lot to me. To all of us.” He added hastily.

“I barely even get to see any of you,” she said, holding his hand loosely. “I don’t have time, but I need to do this…and my boss is a fucking _prick_ and law school is the _worst_ and apparently I need to volunteer outside of work?”

“I volunteer you for sleeping in duty.” Lavi grinned, letting her weight push him down on the bed. “Starting now.”

Lenalee groaned, half-draped across him, hair mussed from the blankets previously covering her head. “Don’t tempt me, I haven’t slept in since….a while.”

“More of a reason to do it.” Lavi wiggled out from under her, knocking his elbow against his wall. Wincing, he moved over, leaving enough room for Lenalee to lie down comfortably. “We can worry about adult shit tomorrow.”

“I hate adult shit,” Lenalee breathed, turning her back to him, blankets drawn over her shoulders again. Lavi flushed, reconsidering his position when she shifted closer. She either didn’t notice or didn’t care, backing up into him until she was comfortable. “Good night, Lavi. I love you.”

Lavi nodded stiffly, wrapping an arm around the ball of blankets next to him and prayed that she didn’t move much throughout the night.

-

“I told my gramps we’re getting married,” Lavi said over breakfast, hunched over his financial aid paperwork. The phone call had been brief, but after telling his grandfather, it felt like they had reached the point of no return.

Lenalee looked up from her food, spoon paused halfway to her mouth. “Did he take it okay?”

“He asked me if I was fucking with him.” Lavi shot her a wry smile, pen hovering over the papers in front of him. “But other than that, he was fine with it. Surprisingly.” He left out the part where his grandfather had warned him about watching himself, and about not getting in over his head.

“I have a feeling that’s what most of the reactions are going to be like.” Lenalee resumed breakfast, albeit slower than before. “I don’t even want to think about what Komui’s going to say.”

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you think he’ll be?” Lavi asked, dropping his chin on his hand.

“He’s going to go nuclear, no doubt about it.” Lenalee smiled sheepishly, sliding half of her breakfast his way. “So, sorry in advance, I think.”

With that charming visual in mind, Lavi pulled her breakfast closer, turning his papers toward her. “Need your help with this.”

“What about it?” The paperwork was standard, requesting income information along with his basic facts. That was fine, and since he didn’t have any income, it was easy enough to complete. The top section was blank, however, the line above his address smudged from multiple erasers.

Lenalee looked up at him, perplexed. “Lavi?”

“I um…” He cleared his throat, busying himself with breakfast to avoid meeting her curious gaze. “I was thinking about…names. Married names. What we’re going to be.”

“Oh.” Lenalee turned back to the sheet, mouthing something under her breath he couldn’t quite catch. “I guess we should talk about that, huh?”

“Probably.” He pushed his meal away, reaching for his pencil again. “I was thinking about it last night, but…Y’know. I wanted your input.” He wasn’t technically lying; he had to shred the evidence afterwards, but he had been thinking about it.

“I don’t know how I feel about Lenalee Bookman,” she admitted with a shrug. “It’s kind of a mouthful.”

“We don’t _have_ to change our names,” Lavi said slowly, though his hand shook as he pulled his papers back. “It would be easier if we didn’t….” He took a deep breath, trying to keep his voice nonchalant. “I would be okay with being Lavi Lee, though.”

“You would?” Lenalee looked up, surprised. “Seriously?”

Lavi nodded quickly, hunching over the papers again. “Well, I guess technically it’d be Richard Lavi Lee, but you know what I mean.”

“Richard?” Lenalee asked, walking around the table to peer at his papers. “Your name is Richard?”

“Legally, yes.” Lavi said, eyeing her suspiciously.

She laughed, covering her mouth. “How have I known you this long and not known your name is _Dick_?”

“Because I have asshole friends,” he groused, scribbling the rest of his information in. “And because if Allen or Kanda found out they would literally never let it go.”

“You realize I have to tell them now. It’s my duty,” she teased, squealing when Lavi reached for her. “I have to tell them!”

“We’re not even married yet and I already want to divorce you!” He called after her, watching her sprint down the hall to her room, and presumably, to her phone.

Lenalee laughed, and Lavi sighed as the notifications started coming in on his phone.

-

It turned out, getting married was surprisingly simple. A little pricey, but nothing they couldn’t cover together. Lavi had even managed to splurge a little on a couple of wedding bands, springing them on Lenalee last minute.

Allen, Kanda, and Alma appeared as witnesses, following them out of the city building with bright grins.

“Man, I feel like I’m being left behind,” Allen complained, loosening his tie. “Everyone I know is married now, that’s an injustice.”

“Are you jealous, Al?” Lavi grinned, arm thrown across Lenalee’s shoulder loosely.

Alma laughed, holding Kanda’s hand. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, Allen. Kanda snores.”

“I do not,” Kanda muttered, but offered a brief smile when Alma moved in for a quick kiss. “You talk in your sleep. That’s worse.”

“Oh, you lot are going to be insufferable now,” Allen sighed. “I’m going to have to hang out with Link now to get away from all this…” He waved his hand, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “Sugary bullshit.”

Lenalee laughed, catching Allen’s hand to leave bright pink lipstick stains along his red arm. “Don’t worry, Allen, we still love you.”

“Hey, I asked if you would marry me first,” Lavi added. “You shot me down.”

“I did, true,” Allen mused with a grin. “I stand by it.”

They made their way down to a restaurant a few blocks away, catching up as best as they could while moving through the busy streets.

Allen reached the doors first, bowing with a flourish as he opened the door for the group. “After you, Mister and Missus Dick,” he said sweetly, barely dodging the fist Lavi aimed his way.

Lunch flew by in a flash, and soon enough, Alma and Kanda had to leave.

“Here, I’ve got it,” Lavi grinned, reaching across Allen to grab at the receipt, scribbling his signature with a flourish. As he moved to slide it back to the edge of the table, he paused. “Oh, no. Wait.”

“What did you do?” Kanda asked, and the group crowded closer to watch Lavi scratch out the signature at the bottom of the ticket.

“Did it wrong,” he muttered, signing a very slow ‘Lavi Lee’ at the bottom. The letters looped carefully, like he was trying to make sure there were no mistakes, and Lenalee felt a blush climb up her cheeks.

Satisfied, Lavi set the receipt down, preening smugly. “There. That’s better.”

“Ah, that’s rank,” Allen fake-gagged, laughing when Alma ruffled his hair. “My teeth hurt already.”

-

They returned to normal surprisingly fast, with only the cheap gold ring on Lavi’s hand to remind him of the fact that they were, in fact, married.

Lenalee seemed more relaxed, which was a relief, but Lavi suspected it had more to do with actually having more than a solid meal a day. Sleep was still rare, but they managed, and they even made time for a bit of fun in between chores and school and Lenalee’s job.

Lavi continued job searching as the end of the spring semester loomed over them, the tension growing in the apartment. Lenalee did her best, and actually seemed to be resting, but as finals drew closer, he could see her start to unravel.

The day she didn’t come out of her room at all was the day he decided to intervene, again. He tapped on her door slowly. “Lena?”

The door swung open, and Lavi sighed as he peeked in. Lenalee was on her floor, in worn pajamas with a scowl on her face. She didn’t bother looking up when he walked in, hunched over her computer like her life depended on it. “Yeah.”

“You doing okay?” He asked, soft and hesitant. Clearly she wasn’t, and bothering her was probably a bad idea, but the radio silence on her end was worrying him. “You haven’t eaten anything. Or uh, come out at all.”

“Just finals.” She was curt, but not mean about it, not at him, anyways. “I’m fine.”

“Do you need anything?” Lavi sat down across from her. “I can bring you something to eat if you want.”

“Gotta finish.” There was a burst of typing, and Lavi frowned as Lenalee’s brow furrowed. “Sorry. I’ll be out later.”

“Babe…” Lavi reached out slowly, tapping the edge of her screen. “You gotta at least eat something. And drink some water.”

“Maybe.” Lenalee hummed absently, shooting him a tired look over her computer. “Your ring turned my finger green, by the way.”

Startled by the segue, Lavi laughed, covering his mouth as an afterthought. “It did?”

“Yeah.” She held her hand out to him, switching tabs on her computer with her free hand. He took it lightly, turning her hand gently. It was faint, but she was right; there was a green tinge to her ring finger, residue from the cheap band he had gotten.

“Oops.” He cleared his throat, slipping his own ring off his finger curiously. “Guess I should have known it was too good to be true.”

“You didn’t have to get them,” she said, a more genuine smile on her face, her typing halfhearted. “I appreciate it though.”

“It wasn’t a big deal.” Lavi said, scooting closer. He hadn’t spent too much time looking for bands, if he were honest. He got overwhelmed with the prices and just left with the cheapest ones he could find that he knew would fit. “Just thought it’d be nice.”

“It was.” Lenalee sighed, digging her palms into her eyes. “I guess I should take a break, huh?”

“I can proofread for you while you eat something.” Lavi held his hands out for the computer, clenching and unclenching his hands. “It’ll give me something to do, too.”

Defeated, Lenalee relinquished her hold on the computer, standing with a creaky groan. “Maybe dinner and a shower…” She shuffled past Lavi, pausing long enough to run her fingers through his hair lightly. “You’re a lifesaver, Lavi.”

It took him a few minutes to slip back into a school mode of sorts, his eyes skimming through unfamiliar legalese. He didn’t know enough about court cases to edit anything in regards to content, but he could manage well enough on structure alone. He didn’t even notice Lenalee come back, and jumped when she rested her head on his shoulder, damp hair soaking through his shirt.

“How’s it looking?” She yawned, offering him a cracker from a packet tucked into her sleeve.

“It looks good so far.” He scrolled down the document, making sure to save any changes he had made. “I just don’t know what motions in limine are or discovery means.”

“That’s okay. I don’t think I get it very well either.” Lenalee grinned, stuffing a handful of crackers into her mouth. “’s long ‘s okay, though.”

“You’ll do fine.” Lavi slid the laptop back to her, lying down on her floor with a sigh. “Just let me know if you want me to check anything else.”

“I will.” He closed his eyes as the sounds of typing resumed, accompanied by the soft strains of a piano drifting from Lenalee’s speakers. “Have you considered teaching?”

“Like…as a job?” Lavi looked up, raising an eyebrow at Lenalee’s thoughtful look. “No, not really.”

“You would be great at it. You could be a tutor, if teaching doesn’t sound like a good plan.” She nodded to herself, returning to her document. “I know a lot of people at school who would kill to have someone look over their stuff.”

“Really?” Lavi hadn’t been terrible in school, and had enjoyed it quite a bit, but he hadn’t considered himself good enough to do it for a living. “I mean…I wouldn’t say now. If you know people who need stuff done, just…shoot ‘em my way? It probably wouldn’t be full time, but it would be good for now, right?”

Lenalee nodded, running her fingers through his hair again, mussing through the thick red strands. “I’ll definitely talk to some people for you, okay?”

He stayed until Lenalee finished her report, returning to his room with the beginnings of a plan in mind.

-

They had marked the last day of finals on the calendar on the fridge, bright red with little exclamation points around it, the excitement of The End nearly tangible in Lenalee’s blocky text. They had proposed a night out in earnest, maybe dinner and a movie or something of the sort. Anything that would clearly define the day as something special.

While Lavi waited for Lenalee to get home from work, he instead focused on job hunting. He hadn’t received any offers yet, but he had started looking into research, his search history spanning every variation of ‘teaching requirements and certifications’ he could think of. It would take some time, but as luck would have it, he still had time to add classes to his schedule. He wasn’t too sure if he would be a good teacher or not, but the opportunities within the program wouldn’t hurt.

The door banging open jolted him out of his daydreams of giving lectures in halls like his gramps had before he retired. Startled, he smashed his elbow on the kitchen counter, swallowing a swear as angry footsteps made their way towards him. “Lena?”

She paused, and his stomach fell as he took in the sight of her. She sniffled defensively, as if daring him to comment on her red-rimmed eyes, or the faint twitch of a muscle in her jaw, her fists clenched and stiff at her sides.

“Jesus, babe…” The tone of his voice, whatever it came across as, seemed to be the final straw. Lavi wheezed as she crumbled, the angry tears spilling down blotchy red cheeks. “Shit, fuck…”

In a panic, Lavi hurried over, wrapping Lenalee in as tight a hug as he could manage, hoping she wouldn’t be able to hear the hammering in his chest. Lenalee was still in his arms for only a second before she returned the hug fiercely, sobs muffled by his shirt.

“I’m sorry,” she wailed, the words barely intelligible through the tears. “I’m sorry, I ju-I just—“

Lavi frowned, squeezing her tighter while pressing her head against his chest. “Christ, Lena, you don’t have to apologize….you’re not hurt, right?” She shook her head minutely, and the spike of panic in his gut receded a bit. “Okay, good…”

He somehow managed to maneuver the both of them to the living room, dropping on the couch with her. She sniffed, sobs soft against his chest. “Do you need anything?” He asked, faltering when her hiccups grew.

Lenalee managed another small shake of her head, burying her face against his chest like she was hoping to disappear. Lavi sighed, rubbing circles into her shoulders, trying to ease the knots out of her back. “You’re okay, babe, I got ya…”

“Today was awful,” she murmured, voice cracking, threatening another round of tears. “It was so bad…”

“We don’t have to talk about it.” Lavi’s hand stilled on her back, moving instead to brush her hair away from her face. “I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.” It was watery, and weak, but her grip on his shirt was tight. “I’ll be okay.”

“That’s all I needed to hear.”

They sat like that for hours, pins and needles running up Lavi’s legs from being in such an awkward position for so long. He didn’t dare move, though, holding on to Lenalee instead. She shifted against him a few times, but refused to say anything else.

“You gonna be okay?” He whispered, dropping his chin on her head. Sniffling, Lenalee nodded, patting the tear stains on his shirt sheepishly.

Voice still thick with tears, she coughed, sitting up. “Sorry, I’m…I’m sorry…” Heaving a stuttering sigh, she dragged her sleeve across her face, smearing whatever makeup hadn’t already run down her face or onto Lavi’s shirt. “I’m…really sorry…I ruined tonight…sorry…”

“You don’t have to apologize for anything.” Lavi reached out, running his thumb across her cheek to wipe away a smudge of eyeliner. “Is there anything I can do?”

Lenalee shook her head, fists clenched in her lap. “No…No. It was just…a bad day at work and at school. I’m glad it’s over.”

Lavi squeezed her shoulders tight, feeling the tremors subside slowly. “We can do dinner tomorrow, if you want.” Lenalee nodded, pressed into his side. “Do you wanna sleep in my room tonight?” He offered, holding his hand out to her, palm up.

She took his hand slowly, offering him a faint, grateful smile. “Yes, please.”

They fell asleep in a tangle of limbs, Lenalee pressing too close and too tightly, like she was afraid he would slip away and leave her alone. It was uncomfortable, and hot in the middle of the night with her body pushing him against the wall, but it was the best sleep either one had gotten in some time.

-

Lavi received his first follow-up email a week into summer break.

He nearly broke down in tears, frantically dialing Lenalee to leave her a message. It was short, and half-coherent, but he figured it got the message across. Kanda, Alma and Allen only got text messages, because they were pricks and also he wasn’t married to them. His grandfather got a longer phone call, and Lavi finished the call just as Lenalee got home.

She squealed when she saw him, kicking her heels off before launching herself at him. “You did it!”

“I got an interview,” he corrected, but he couldn’t wipe off the giddy grin on his face. “So maybe.”

“You did it,” she insisted, beaming brighter than the sun as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “We need to celebrate!”

“I haven’t even gone to the interview yet,” Lavi pointed out, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt with her at such close proximity. “We can save it for when I actually go.”

Lenalee huffed, cheeks puffed in annoyance, and pressed her forehead against his. Lavi’s heart stuttered, and he was positive she could hear it kick into double-time when she squeezed him closer. “We’re going out tonight, and we’re going to celebrate.”

“I guess I can’t argue with that,” Lavi wheezed, disentangling himself with an embarrassed chuckle. “Lady’s choice, though.”

“I guess,” Lenalee sighed melodramatically, shooting him a bright, teasing grin that nearly sent him into cardiac arrest. “Do you want Allen and Kanda and Alma to come too?”

“No.” Lavi ruffled his hair, busying himself with cleaning up his notes. “They keep calling me Dick so they don’t get to eat with us.”

“Do you want me to kick their butts?” Lenalee asked, walking back to the door to retrieve her heels. “I could. I’ll kick their butts for you.”

“Best wife, it’s you,” Lavi croaked, feeling the heat grow in his ears. “Kick their asses, baby, I got your flower.”

Lenalee laughed, disappearing to her room to change.

Lavi waited all of two seconds before slumping onto the couch, wheezing softly. He was in too deep. He was definitely in over his head. His grandfather had been right and he hadn’t listened and now he was very much in a pickle he didn’t know how to get out of.

-

Dinner was casual, a little hole in the wall tucked in between an apartment building and a coffee shop. Lenalee led the way, her hand wrapped firmly around Lavi’s fingers, navigating the lunchtime crowds with ease.

“How’s work?” He asked, weaving between a group of people blocking the sidewalk. Lenalee kept a tight grip on his hand, pulling him through a particularly tight squeeze.

“It’s alright,” she called over her shoulder, waiting for him to catch up before continuing. “They fired a paralegal, so the drama’s over now.”

“Is that good?” He assumed it was by the tone of her voice. Lenalee nodded.

They reached the restaurant soon after and settled into a booth in a far corner. Lavi grinned, watching Lenalee settle into the seat across from him. The bags under her eyes were almost gone now, and she seemed genuinely relaxed as she flipped through the menu.

“I told Komui, by the way.” She said, looking up from her menu. She wiggled her fingers at him, the gold band, now more green than gold, catching the light. “Sent him a picture of it and he laughed.”

Lavi froze, clearing his throat. “What did he say? A-about the, y’know. Marriage. Thing.”

“Nothing.” Lenalee shrugged, twisting the ring on her finger absently. “He was okay with it.”

Considering her earlier warning, he was concerned. “What do you mean? I thought you said he was going to be furious.”

“I told him the truth.” Nonchalant, she returned to the menu, flipping between a couple of pages indecisively.

“The truth?” Lavi echoed, feeling his mouth go dry. “Like, the truth truth?”

“That we’re fake married.” She nodded, engrossed in the menu descriptions. “I wasn’t going to lie to my brother.”

The roiling emotions in Lavi’s chest threated to choke him, and he turned to his menu to avoid staring at her. “Yeah. Obviously.”

“It doesn’t really mean anything,” she said, and Lavi swore he felt something break inside him. “So I told him not to worry about it.”

The waiter arrived to take their order before he could scrounge up a reply, but it gave him a chance to clamp down on the churn of emotions squeezing the air out of him.

Of course it didn’t mean anything. It was fake. Like the fake gold rings on their hands.

“Lavi?” Lenalee reached across the table to wave her fingers in his face, concern furrowing her brow. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Lavi swallowed hard, past the lump in his throat, and managed a thin smile. “I’m fine.”

The rest of lunch went by without a hitch. If Lenalee found Lavi to be more distant than usual, she didn’t comment on it.

-

The interview went well, and soon enough Lavi was starting a new job. It wasn’t the best pay, and his hours could have been better, but his first paycheck was enough for rent and groceries.

And if his new work schedule made it impossible to spend too much time at the apartment, well, that was just a sacrifice he was willing to make.

They communicated through notes on the calendar when they had to, reminders for the other of bills that needed to be paid and what schedules were going to look like for the week. Lenalee was the one leaving the bulk of the messages; Lavi responded with as short a message as he could manage.

Was he being petty? Absolutely.

Did he care? Not at all.

“You’re being a fucking twat, and I mean that with every fiber of my being.” Allen said. They had gone drinking again, another impromptu summons with Allen and Kanda. Alma was working night shift, and, as Allen had informed him as soon as they had arrived to their usual spot, Lenalee wasn’t invited.

“This is an intervention, asshole.” Kanda said, dropping down heavily on Lavi’s right sight, Allen taking his left. “You fucked up and if you keep fucking up we’re kicking your ass.”

“You made Lenalee cry,” Allen added, shoving Lavi’s shoulder none too lightly. “That alone should qualify you for an ass kicking.”

“Alma said we should give you the benefit of the doubt.” Kanda clearly did not appreciate the idea, but it seemed Alma trumped his opinion. “So start talking, fucker.”

“Wow,” Lavi drawled, busying himself with opening his beer. “It’s almost like you two rehearsed this.”

He should have expected the punches coming from either side, but he probably deserved it anyways. Arms numb and beer dripping down his shirt, Lavi relented. “God, I hate you all so much.”

“The sooner you talk, the faster you get home to fix shit.” Kanda, with the eloquence that became him, tugged the beer from his grip and drained the bottle as fast as he could.

Allen whistled. “You better hurry. You know how Yuu gets when he’s tipsy.”

Grimacing, Lavi explained the situation, ending with their dinner at the restaurant. “We haven’t really talked since then.”

“You’ve been avoiding her on purpose, of course you haven’t.” Allen sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Kanda, please advise our dear friend what he’s done wrong.”

“He’s an idiot.” Kanda said blandly.

“Thanks.” Lavi responded, opening another beer.

“You are very much an idiot.” Allen reached for Lavi’s bottle, huffing when the redhead moved it away. “Do you honestly think that it doesn’t matter?”

“She _said_ it didn’t matter.” Lavi drank from his bottle, shooting Allen a sour glare. “She literally said that to my face.”

“She wouldn’t have agreed to marry your dumb ass if it didn’t,” Kanda said, leaning back on his elbows. “She likes you.”

Lavi scoffed, and he saw Allen exchange an exasperated look with Kanda over his head. “Not like that.”

“I’m sorry, did she or did she not agree to marry you?” Allen reached for his hand, trying to pry his fingers open from around his bottle. “You have rings.”

Lavi twisted his hand, raising an eyebrow at Allen. The green band was prominent around his ring finger, but the culprit was gone. “You had rings,” Allen conceded.

“It turned my finger green.” Lavi said, like he hadn’t ripped it off as soon as they had gotten back from the restaurant, the cold metal a reminder of the hurricane wreaking havoc through his chest.

Kanda groaned, reaching blindly for another beer. “I am not drunk enough for this.”

“Lenalee loves you,” Allen said, cutting to the chase. “She loves you and she’s upset because you are pushing her away because you are a twat and because you’re afraid.”

“She doesn’t see me like that.” Lavi said to the ground, nudging a pebble along with his beer bottle. “It means nothing.” He made a face, looking up at Allen. “I’m not afraid.”

Allen sucked a breath between his teeth, clenching his fists like he wanted to strangle Lavi. “You are unbelievable.”

“Can we beat him up now?” Kanda asked, half-sprawled out on the ground.

“I don’t think you could throw a punch if you tried.” Lavi said.

Kanda shrugged, and kicked his bottle out of his hands. “Not a punch.”

Lavi sighed, irritation pricking at the back of his neck, watching his bottle roll away. “Stop it.”

“Go apologize to Lenalee.” Allen said, raising an eyebrow at Lavi’s tone. “She doesn’t deserve this.”

“You should know better.” Kanda sat up with a groan. “Lenalee cares for you a lot and you don’t get to get butthurt because you thought it was something else.”

Allen dropped his head on Lavi’s shoulder, nudging him lightly. “You know Lena loves you. Who cares if your _fake_ marriage is fake? It’s just a document that you both signed on a Tuesday right before lunch. You paid fifty dollars. I have paid more on dinner.”

Lavi made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat, finishing his beer. “Yeah, okay, _fine_. I’ll go apologize, you assholes.”

“ _You’re_ an asshole.” Allen snapped back, slapping his thigh as he moved to stand. Kanda nodded in agreement, grabbing another beer. “So go fix what you messed up so we can all go back to normal.”

Lavi had hoped the walk home would help him clear his head, but the irritation he had felt at Allen and Kanda’s intervention clung to him as he walked into the apartment. He knew, realistically, that Lenalee didn’t owe him anything, and that them being married didn’t mean that they were actually married. He knew that.

The lights were on in the living room when he stomped in, feeling the heat from the alcohol pooling in his stomach, burning in his ears and the back of his neck.

Lenalee glanced up from the couch, hunched into a corner with a blanket around her shoulders. “Welcome back.” She said, tone cool.

He grunted in response, jarring his shoulder into the door. Hissing a swear, Lavi slammed the door shut, stalking to his room.

Behind him he heard Lenalee scoff, and he felt himself bristle, turning back to her. “What was that?”

“What kind of an asshole goes around slamming doors?” She retorted, glancing at him over the edge of the couch.

Lavi huffed, gritting his teeth. “ _This_ asshole, clearly. Anything else you wanna add?”

“What is your _problem_?” Lenalee kicked the blankets off her in a huff, rounding the couch to face him. It didn’t seem to matter that she was half a foot shorter than him; she drew herself up to her full height and stared him down. “You’ve been like this for weeks! What’s going on?”

“There’s nothing going on!” Lavi grit his teeth, folding his arms across his chest. “What do _you_ care, anyways?”

“I care because you’re my friend!” Lenalee stared him down, a hint of tears at the corner of her eyes. “I care because you’ve been ignoring me for weeks and not talking to me and I don’t know why!”

“You said it didn’t matter!” Lavi winced when his voice cracked, but the heat in his chest – too hot, almost constricting around his lungs – and the look on Lenalee’s face coupled with Kanda and Allen’s not so subtle threats wore him down. “You said _this_ didn’t matter…”

Lenalee was quiet, still as the anger slipped out of Lavi’s shoulders. He slumped where he stood, arms dropping from his chest, and waited. Lenalee said nothing, and the silence stretched on, almost as oppressive as the heat in his chest.

Lavi faltered, unable to meet her gaze. “I’m sorry,” he said, subdued, and hung his head. “I’m sorry. I’ve been an asshole and…I’m sorry.”

“Is that what this is about?” She asked, voice strained. Lavi glanced up, wincing at the sight of tears. Allen and Kanda were definitely going to kick his ass.

Lenalee sniffled, dragging the back of her sleeve across her face. “You thought you didn’t matter to me?”

When she said it like that it….sounded…not good, but Lavi gave her a stiff nod. He cleared his throat, willing his tongue to cooperate. “I guess. Yeah.”

“You’re such an idiot,” she breathed, dabbing at the tears still streaming down her face. “I was worried something had happened to you and you weren’t _telling_ me anything, and Kanda and Allen didn’t know either…”

“Yeah, well.” Lavi sighed, running a hand through his hair, the buzz from the alcohol quickly giving way to a solid lump of guilt in his stomach. “They already told me I’m an idiot too, so they’ve got you covered.”

“Maybe you have to hear it again,” she sniffed, but offered him a watery smile. “I can’t believe you.”

“They said that too.” Lavi fidgeted, wanting more than anything to retreat to his room and just forget the whole ordeal.

Lenalee had other ideas. Faster than he could see, she moved forward, tugging his collar down, smashing her lips to his. It was a rough kiss, more desperate than anything he had experienced before, and he was left floundering at the taste of salt and strawberry chapstick.

“I love you,” she breathed when she moved back, knocking her forehead against his lightly. “I love you so much and you’re a bigger idiot than I thought if you think I don’t care about you.”

“You said, though…” He murmured, still reeling from the feel of her lips on his. “I don’t...what?”

Lenalee rolled her eyes, flicking his forehead with her middle finger. “I love you, Lavi.”

“Love love?” He asked, his traitorous heart giving a little kick against his sternum. “Or love like…everyone else.”

“I’m not going to argue about the semantics of love right now,” she said, but her smile was teasing as she went in for another kiss.

Lavi was happy to oblige.


End file.
